Saturday Night Live‘s Weekend Update took aim at Tucker Carlson on Saturday night (May 9), with the former Fox News host portrayed by featured player Jeremy Culhane raging about the Met Gala, slamming the Michael biopic and closing with his most offensive hot take yet.
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Appearing alongside co-hosts Colin Jost and Michael Che, the sketch version of Carlson opened by unloading on the annual fashion fundraiser at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
“Let’s all prance around in our $100,000 clown outfits and watch the American empire crumble,” he said. “What are we doing? Come on.”
When Jost noted that Carlson clearly didn’t enjoy the event, the character replied sarcastically: “Oh no, I loved it. Because when I go to a museum, I don’t want to learn about history. No, I want to look at The Rock in a skirt. Do you smell what the Rock is cooking? Because I do — it’s gender confusion.” He then turned his attention to Madonna: “She named herself after the Virgin Mary. And you want to know my favorite thing about the mother of Jesus Christ? The big pirate ship on her head.” On Heidi Klum’s veiled statue look: “The left has finally gotten what they’ve always wanted. They put the Statue of Liberty in a burqa.”
Jost pointed out that Carlson actually lives in Maine, which sent the character into a conspiracy tangent about the state’s silent “E.” “What does the E even stand for? Oh, I know: ‘Euphoria.’ And no, I’m not talking about the feeling I get when I press one for English.”
Culhane-as-Carlson then turned to the Michael biopic — taking issue not with the film’s handling of Michael Jackson’s alleged crimes, but with something else entirely.
“The movie ends in 1988, so obviously they avoided something serious that needs to be acknowledged,” he said. “The part of Michael Jackson’s life no one wants to talk about anymore. The part when he was a white man. Sorry, kids, Michael Jackson doesn’t get to live a beautiful white life anymore. ‘Shamona’ — more like ‘shame on ya.’” The segment closed with Carlson’s take on A$AP Rocky’s Met Gala look: “He was on the red carpet wearing my least favorite color, African American.”
Saturday’s episode was hosted by Matt Damon, with Noah Kahan serving as musical guest. SNL Season 51 closes next week with Will Ferrell hosting and Paul McCartney as musical guest.
