It’s been exactly six months since the world was left stunned by the sudden death of Liam Payne, and his sister is marking the occasion with an emotional tribute posted to Instagram on Wednesday (April 16).
In black text over a white background, Ruth Gibbins — the late One Direction star’s older sister — began the letter by saying, “6 months, half a year without you?!”
“My head is still screaming for you,” she continued. “Each morning on waking, I feel like I am plunged underwater, gasping for air that never comes to relieve me. Living without you is impossible, so for now, I exist. I’m learning to laugh or smile in the right places, but mate, it’s exhausting when all I want to do is speak to you.”
Gibbins went on to say that she can sometimes hear her little brother “laughing at me walking around,” comparing his lingering presence to the 1990 film Ghost. “You’re always coming through in different ways to put me back on the right path,” she wrote.
Payne died at the age of 31 on Oct. 16, 2024, after suffering a fatal fall from a third-story hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina. According to subsequent toxicology reports, the X Factor alum had several substances in his system and a nearly life-threatening blood-alcohol content at the time of his death.
In the days that followed, numerous family members, friends and colleagues — including each of Payne’s former 1D bandmates — shared statements remembering the musician. In a lengthy statement of her own posted Oct. 19, Gibbins wrote, “My brain is struggling to catch up with what’s happening, and I don’t understand where you’ve gone … I don’t feel this world was good enough or kind enough to you, and quite often over the last few years, you’ve had to really try hard to overcome all that was being aimed at you. You just wanted to be loved and to make people happy with your music.”
Six months later, Gibbins says she still “can’t process what’s happened and the finality of it. “You know I will never stop doing all I can for you,” she added in her Wednesday post. “I miss you loudly, quietly and in all the moments inbetween. Love you so much more than these words or my tears are capable of expressing but I know you know this. For now I’ll meet you in my dreams.”
Gibbins’ half-year commemoration comes a little over a month after Payne’s relatives issued a united statement slamming tabloid coverage of the star’s death. Calling out the “constant media attention and speculation” that ensued immediately after Payne suffered his fall, the family wrote that the press had “exacted indescribable, lasting damage on the family,” particularly the “Strip That Down” singer’s 7-year-old son, Bear.
“Liam ought to have had a long life ahead of him,” they added at the time. “Instead, [Payne’s son] Bear has lost his father, Geoff and Karen have lost their son, Ruth and Nicola have lost their brother and all of Liam’s friends and fans have lost someone they held very dear.”
See Gibbins’ full note below.
