Even though they broke up more than a decade ago, Danielle Peazer said she and her ex, Liam Payne, will forever be connected. Peazer posted a tribute to Payne over the weekend, just days after the former One Direction singer and solo star died at age 31 following a fall from a hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
“This still doesn’t feel real,” Peazer wrote in an Instagram post about the passing of Payne, who she dated on-and-off in 2013 during the early peak of his 1D days. “Despite being aware of your struggles over the years, I hoped and prayed that this day would never come. But now we’re all facing the reality of living a life without your presence.”
Payne died on Wednesday (Oct. 16) after suffering a fatal fall from the third floor of his hotel in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Investigators believe that he was potentially under the influence of substances when he fell, but they are still waiting for further toxicology reports.
Peazer noted that it’s customary while grieving to say “‘I hope he knew how much I cared about him,’” saying that Payne knew exactly how she felt about him because that was the “one thing we were really good at — being brutally honest with our feelings for each other, whether the other wanted to hear it or not.” She described how the former couple could wind each other up, but that they’d learned to accept one another’s idiosyncrasies over the past 14 years.
Though they called it quits in 2013 after two years together, Peazer said that was just the beginning of their story; the couple first met when Payne competed on Britain’s The X-Factor in 2010 when she was a backup dancer on the show. “The things we went through and experienced from then all the way until last year could be described as unique to some and misunderstood by others, but I think deep down we always knew we’d have some sort of connection forever, no matter where our individual lives took us,” she wrote.
She also appeared to nod to the struggles Payne openly discussed following his 1D days, in which he described both mental health and substance use battles. “It took a little longer for you to figure out the person you wanted to be in order to be your happiest, but whilst most of us have our teens and twenties to learn about ourselves, you spent those years giving more to the world than you ever needed to,” she added. “I wish you knew that you were always more than enough for this world without having to search for a role to play just to please others.”
The note ended with a thank you from Peazer to Payne for “teaching me about the importance of setting boundaries, and that I should always protect my heart.” She said she received a message from Payne several weeks ago in which he expressed his happiness for her marriage to DJ Sonny Jay and their six-month-old daughter, Mia.
“I’m sorry your story didn’t end differently,” Peazer lamented. “And I’m sorry you didn’t ever get to share more of your magic with the world. Rest easy my friend.”
The message also sent love to Bear, Payne’s seven-year-old son with his ex, Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Cole, as well as his family and sisters. “His most important role and something he was the most proud of out of all of his monumental successes was that he was a father,” she said. “The thought that there is now a child growing up without one of their parents is heartbreaking and unfair. To Liam’s son Bear, as well as his parents and sisters, my love, thoughts and strength goes to you. The magnitude of this loss is incomprehensible and I will continue to support you in any way I am able to.”
Payne’s death has been mourned by Directioners all over the world, as well as the late singer’s sister, Ruth Gibbins, former girlfriend Aliana Mawla and recent love Kate Cassidy, singers Shawn Mendes and Maggie Rogers, X-Factor judge Simon Cowell and Sharon Osbourne. His former 1D bandmates — Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik and Niall Horan — issued both a group statement as well as individual remembrances of Payne.
See Peazer’s message below.
