This past January, Alison Wonderland tweeted an earnest request:
“Since cancelling 3 shows in December I have been getting constant s–t from Twitter, Instagram and Tiktok about it and it somehow isn’t dying down. I just want to let everyone know that I had to leave Asia for emergency surgery and then the week after I had a fever of 102 + for 4 days straight and couldn’t leave my bed.
“One day I will explain why I needed surgery,” she continued, “but right now I have not even processed it myself. I am asking nicely for all you ‘plur’ ravers to just be a bit more understanding- what I am dealing with in my private life right now is painful enough and I just want to concentrate on healing and music . Love u all.”
Nearly a year later, the producer sat down with Billboard News to talk about what she was going through during that time.
Speaking in mid-October, just weeks before she gave birth to her second son, Wonderland revealed that she experienced a miscarriage in December of 2024 that forced the cancellation of said shows. She says the online backlash she subsequently received “was so horrible, to have people so unsupportive and rude. And I had said ‘Look, I’m going through a lot. It’s surgery; it’s medical; it’s an emergency, please respect my privacy.’ And to this day I’m getting bombarded about the fact that I had to cancel shows at the end of last year. But I hope that you see this, and I hope you know it’s because I had a miscarriage … That sucked, because I did not feel like a person and I just didn’t want to have to tell everyone that. I wasn’t ready to. I don’t owe them that.”
Wonderland also reveals that this was her fourth miscarriage, with these experiences inspiring her June single “Again? F–k.”
“I was so messed up,” she says of writing the track. “I was like, ‘The only way I can get through this is writing a song with a sense of humor and like, kind of being aggressive about it, because it’s like, ‘How do I move forward?’” she also revealed that “I Want to Live in a Dream” is about “trying to escape that feeling of reality” which she felt due to the miscarriage but which she’s found is something many people around her are grappling with in various contexts.
“I think a lot of people at the moment feel like they don’t fit in anywhere,” Wonderland says. “A lot of people have said that to me, a lot of big artists have said that to me, that they’re struggling, because it’s very quick quick quick quick quick right now, and I’m an album artist. I’ll always be an album artist.”
To wit, both of the aforementioned singles come from Wonderland’s fourth studio album Ghost World, out Dec. 6. The producer says that the world building and story telling inherent in the album creation process is something that’s core to her creative process.
Elsewhere in the interview Wonderland discusses a sense of not fitting in in the dance world, her plans to tour again after giving birth and much more. Watch the complete interview above.
