As the six-month anniversary of Liam Payne‘s death approaches, his girlfriend, Kate Cassidy, is still adjusting to her new normal. In a rare interview with Lorraine, a morning show in the U.K., the 25-year-old revealed that she sometimes struggles “to get out of bed in the morning” and hasn’t yet grown accustomed to referring to Payne as if he isn’t here anymore.
“I find myself talking about him so much in the present tense … I don’t even feel the need to correct myself because that’s part of my healing journey,” Cassidy said. “I’m still working on accepting the fact that he’s not here anymore, so it’s hard for me to refer to him in the past tense.”
Cassidy left Argentina four days before Payne ultimately fell to his death from a third-floor balcony at his hotel in October. He was 31. Last month, she told The Sun: “If I could see into the future, I would never have left Argentina … When I left Argentina, we had such a great day, and he was in such a good headspace. We were just full of love, and I never would have expected [his death] to occur.”
The time since has been a mix of good and bad days, Cassidy said on Lorraine. “It is really hard. I’ve never lost anybody before close to me, so this is my first time dealing with anything like this and going through this grief and healing journey,” she said. “…I am trying to do my best. I have my better days, I have my harder days. But I’m surrounded by such a great support system.”
Cassidy has found support in people around her, as well as her dog Nala. Her “healing journey” has also included taking care of her body in order to take care of her mind. “Whether it’s a five-minute walk or 20-minute walk, first thing in the morning [it] just wakes me up and refreshes my mind,” she said, noting that she also does yoga. “Instead of laying in bed all day just scrolling through social media or old photos, it gets me out of bed and really, really helps my mindset and my mental health.”
Payne’s friend, Rogelio “Roger” Nores, who lived in Argentina, recently told Rolling Stone that the singer had been planning for a future with Cassidy. “They had a happy goodbye,” he said. “He wanted to marry her. Two days before he died, he asked me if I wanted to be his best man.”
Though their time was cut short, Cassidy said, “I’ll always have so much love for him … His presence was just comforting and warming and that’s something that I’ll never forget about him.”
