Why Ava Max Disappeared: ‘I Almost Lost Myself’

A
va Max greets me in the lobby of her Los Angeles apartment building with a nervous smile, like someone about to rip off a bandage. For much of the summer, she’s been MIA — vanishing from social media and seemingly abandoning the rollout of her new album, which drops at midnight. Fittingly, it’s titled Don’t Click Play, leaving fans to wonder if her disappearance was part of the plan all along.

It wasn’t.  

Up until this conversation, Max has said nothing online about her album and what led to it. But, as she tells me in the elevator, “the silence has ended.”

After a Fourth of July performance she now calls “uncomfortable,” Max vanished from social media and public view. She was facing intense online hate, had just cut ties with her managers at MDDN, canceled her fall tour, and began searching for a new team.

“The change in management really shook the boat, then I just went silent,” she says. “I almost lost myself there for a moment with the transition. I don’t know if I’m supposed to say it, but that’s the truth. I want to be honest with you: This is a complete reset.”

The music on Don’t Click Play was also born from heartbreak. For the first time in her career, Max cut ties with Cirkut, her former boyfriend and longtime producer, and Madison Love, her ex-co-writer and former friend. (Both were staples across Heaven & Hell and Diamonds & Dancefloors.) While Max doesn’t address it directly, fans have inferred that her single “Spot a Fake” — which was meant to be the lead single off this album, but didn’t make the cut — is inspired by Love and Cirkut beginning to date after Max and the producer’s breakup. 

“I made this album because I wanted to prove that I can make the album of my dreams without my last collaborators,” she says, without naming names. “I know the fans know the story of what happened: I was betrayed and I was heartbroken, and I was really hurt.”

Max was forced then to find a new production and songwriting team, and ended up finding Inverness and Pink Slip, who are credited on much of the project. Max says, “A lot of people thought I couldn’t make another pop song without my last collaborators.” But Ava Max did and thrived. On Don’t Click Play, she delivers her most dynamic and diverse body of electro-pop yet without losing the essence of the artistry she introduced on her early hits like “Sweet But Psycho.” It’s the album she’s most proud of, and she’s ready to promote it full force. Her way. 

It’s been a messy journey to get here, but Max’s wounds have healed. And she’s ready to be real. From a lounge in her West L.A. apartment building, she speaks out for the first time.

Where have you been? How are you?
I’m good. You’re making me blush; this is my first interview back. I switched management mid-album cycle. I knew it was a really tough decision, and a lot of people were saying, “Maybe don’t do it.” And then the other half were saying, “Yeah, you should do it, because you’re not getting the proper support you need.” My support, I guess, it is just a little bit different than what I had in the past. I had to do a complete reset. 

What was that reset like?
I had to go away from social media because all of the comments were just pretty negative. I got pretty emotional and down. I had to step away. I was trying to please everybody. I was being pulled from so many different directions. 

What’s your response to the fan conversation about your well-being? Are you OK?
I so appreciate how much they care and talk about my well-being. I’m just so grateful. I want to let them know I am OK. I’m more than OK. 

How long ago was the management split?
A few months ago. I was committed to doing the Fourth of July NBC performance, which I decided to go through with, even though I wasn’t myself in that performance. I just felt uncomfortable because of the transition. So I decided to disappear. And, no pun intended, it kind of matches up with the album title.

So it was not intentional for you to leave. 
It wasn’t intentional. It almost killed me not to talk to my fans. I want to connect to my fans, I want to talk to them, but it was bad. 

What changed?
Sometimes it feels like things get thrown at you and you’re like, “Which way do I go?” And I am such a people pleaser and I try to please everybody, and I lost myself in the end. So now I’m like, I’m back to focusing on my fans and me. And to be honest, the last few weeks, I have never been happier. I’m really making sure the next tour is perfect, so that’s what I’m working on right now. I’m excited to re-announce it. 

So a tour is happening?
For sure. It’s postponed, it’s not canceled. I think once I start touring again, it’s not going to stop for a few years now. Now it’s just going to go, go, go.

What were the repercussions of the management break? How did that affect you and your person?
At the end of the day, they were my friends and they still are my friends, and so that hurt to break that off. But sometimes people need to go their separate ways, even though you love them. I knew it was best for my fans and my music. I knew it was going to be a bit of a halt. After you change management, you have to reset, and I knew that. But I had to be brave, even though I knew the negative comments were going to come. 

The chatter has been like, “Oh, she’s rebelling.”
I mean, Ava Max has been the biggest mismanaged pop star ever. That’s how it feels. That’s how the comments put it out to be, right? That’s how I feel. But my love for music stays, and that’s why I’m still going to be making consistent pop music until I’m like 100 years old (if I’m lucky), because pop music is in my veins. But have I been mismanaged in the past? That’s for the fans to decide.

What’s it like having new management?
I’m really grateful to be with Ron Laffitte and Dana Salant [of Laffitte Management Group, who manage Backstreet Boys, Carly Rae Jepsen]. I tried not to rush it too, too much, but I asked them one question: “Do we have the same vision?” And we did. And I think that was the main thing that was lost in the last managements: We didn’t have the same vision. Ron and I are on the same page, where he wants me to tour too, just as much as I want to tour, so that’s very important to me.

That’s really important. How much of the past year has been in your control?
I want people to know that some things are just out of my control, and there’s nothing I can do about it. A lot of it, the last year, has been out of my control. It’s interesting because a lot of people like to control my situation. I’m a strong female, and I say what I feel. And so when something feels wrong or I don’t think it represents my art, I speak up. I think sometimes I offend people with big egos. I feel like sometimes that can sabotage me. It’s something I’ve always dealt with since the beginning, since “Sweet but Psycho.”

What’s your biggest lesson from the situation?
Don’t let people tell me what I like and don’t like. Don’t let people persuade me into thinking I like something. What I want to do works and it makes sense and resonates. I don’t want to listen to anyone else anymore. I want to listen to my own gut because that’s what guided me towards “Sweet but Psycho” in the beginning. I think I’m going back to my roots and not caring again.

Why didn’t you do the classic “Ava Max postpones album release” for this album then?
I truly was going back and forth, I am making music because I love music. I can go to the studio right now and make another album in two months. That is my bread and butter. But I don’t want to hold music from the fans anymore. And that’s why, as you see, everyone’s saying, “Oh, my God, she had so many singles on this album.” It’s not that I wanted to have so many singles; it’s that I wanted the fans to have the music. I fight every single day to put my music out. 

I’m just going to ask straight up. Does that have to do with your label [Atlantic] or just your management?
I definitely don’t want to get into those logistics. I just want to tell the fans that I always want to put out music for them. There’s nothing I can do about the way it’s promoted. All I can do is make pop music that resonates with me, and empowers you and empowers myself at the same time. I know the fans talk about it, but there’s nothing I can do about the way other people promote and use my music. I can only control me.

What’s the goal of Don’t Click Play?
This album was not only to prove to the fans, but to prove to myself that, yes, I can make pop songs on my own, and to prove to everybody that I am the reason why “Sweet but Psycho” exists and “Kings & Queens” exists. It’s because I put my story in those songs, and I worked really hard on those songs. A lot of people thought I couldn’t make another pop song without my last collaborators.

Let’s talk about it. How different was it to make a new album with a different team?
I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard. I was so used to working with my main producer at the time, Cirkut. I think for me it was emotional. I couldn’t get into a studio without crying, and it actually took a month and a half for me to feel comfortable recording without him. And I did end up eventually finding an amazing group of producers that I absolutely love, who are now like family. Pink Slip and Inverness and David Stewart. I think it’s wonderful to get yourself out of your comfort zone. 

Sonically, you’re free from the shackles. I think that’s how I felt a little bit with the sound.
[Laughs] Oh ,my god. I needed this laugh! I think now that you’ve listened to the album, I’m sure you can understand that I did not want every song to sound the same; I wanted each song to be unique. I don’t love it when each song sounds the same on an album. I love cohesiveness, I love a story, but I definitely want it to be something on the album for everybody.

I also went through so many emotions the last year and a half of making it that there were different moods in there that I wanted to feel. I am in that writing room, rewriting and rewriting and rewriting until it’s perfect.

Musically, you can see the evolution, and I think that’s fun to hear. 
Right. I think for the title, because everyone is so confused about the title, it doesn’t mean “don’t click play.” It means “Don’t click play if you don’t want to, because at the end of the day, this album was made to prove to myself that I could do it on my own.” I think at the end of the day, sometimes you just have to do things that feed your soul.

You also address some of the hate on there, especially about your samples in music, and even the comparisons to Lady Gaga.
The comments about everything going on are just insane. And I feel like it’s constant, and that’s why I wanted to put it in “Don’t Click Play,” the title track. It’s kind of important for me to put that in there.

You addressed it in a way that you’re owning it a little bit, or you’re in on the joke.
One thousand percent. I’m never dissing anybody in my music like that. It’s an empowering thing to bring two fan bases together. 

Are there samples on the album?
No. A lot of people sample songs and for some reason they like to attack me. At the end of the day, it’s like, if you can make an interpolation very well, and you love it, I don’t think you should leave it on your hard drive; I think you should let people dance to that song. 

Lyrically, you speak on empowering yourself post-split.
Heartbreak stays with you forever. It takes fragments of your heart, and it just stays empty until you fill it back up. I think for me, I will always be able to pull from heartbreak because I’ve been through some really tough breakups. And when I’m in the studio sometimes, I can go back to that feeling. “Know Somebody” is one of those records; it’s going to be very hard to sing this one, but it’s very personal to me. And when you guys hear the lyrics, you’ll know what it’s about. Finding yourself after a heartbreak is one of the most beautiful transformations and rebirths there is in life.

Have you completed that yet or are you in the process of finding yourself?
I feel like I just completed it, and I’m very happy right now. I’m going to get back into the studio, and I’m also going to share a lot of news on what I’m working on on the side.

Give me a tease.
I can say it has to do with the movies.

One thing I wanted to bring up before we end: I think one of your fans’ struggles has been figuring out your identity: Like, who is Ava Max? What sets her apart? What’s her story? 
I’m really happy you asked this. Ever since “Sweet but Psycho” came out, I just jumped into interviews and performances, and I got lost in just the art, that I almost lost me. I didn’t know how to even identify myself in the beginning of my career. It was all so fast, and I was working constantly. I was so young, and it was a whirlwind, to be honest. Having this delay made me realize that I want to open up to my fans finally. And I think it’s time to let them know who Ava Max really is. So, yes, in the next six months you’ll be seeing a different me.

I’m happy to hear that.
That made me emotional, actually. Oh, my God. [Wipes tear.] I feel like I owe it to them to finally open up 100 percent. I’m no longer afraid. And I don’t care what anyone thinks about me anymore. I’ve let my hair down. Officially.

Reps for Madison Love and Cirkut, and a previous manager for Ava Max, did not immediately respond to Rolling Stone’s requests for comment.