SZA is tired of not being a bug. While they just get to crawl around all day, she’s stuck dealing with toxic relationship breakups, the mounting pressure of following up her two career-defining albums, and having a song like “Kill Bill” — which she started as a joke — garner more praise and success than “Nobody Gets Me,” the ballad she’s always wanted to write. The musician aired out this frustration on the latest episode of Hot Ones, where she threw back spicy wings and answered questions while disguised as a bug.
“I have a harder time enjoying anything if I don’t suffer for it, which is why I have this mask on,” SZA said, acknowledging the prosthetics that covered her face with big alien-like eyes and antennas sticking out of her hair. She was as serious as she could be given the deeply unserious conditions of her appearance and the premise of the show itself. “I feel like ‘Nobody Gets Me’ is like my goal of like ‘Oh, I can make a ballad, I can make XY&Z.’ And then they’re just like, ‘But this other song that took you like 3 seconds to write as like a joke to your engineer,’” she continued. “I don’t know. Suffering adds value in all ways.”
SZA isn’t even a big fan of spicy foods — she was only willing to suffer through the increasingly hot selection of wings because of her competitive edge. It also gave her a chance to grill host Sean Evans about the origins of Hot Ones, particularly what he gets out of watching his guests suffer. “What’s your moon in your rising sign? I know you’re a Taurus,” she told him, digging into his astrological chart. “We’re getting to the bottom of this. I have to. There’s something behind why you’re doing this.” Soon enough, SZA flips the script on Evans and begins questioning him about whether doing a show like Hot Ones stops him from finding exciting romantic relationships.
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SZA’s own line of questioning leads her to think deeper about her own relationships, mainly with music and her audience. “It’s just not honest enough for me. I never know what’s happening,” she explained. “I be like, ‘I thought you liked this?’ And then they’re like, ‘No, stupid. We hate this. We want more of this.’ It’s just so confusing. I’m just like, what? Does my boyfriend love me? It’s abusive but it’s also very fulfilling and validating.” She admits that she’s in a toxic relationship with music, but adds: “The toxic ones are the most fun, and so I am having a blast.”
In her bug disguise, SZA doesn’t feel as burdened by her public-facing life as a musician. “This one brings me so much peace of mind. Being a person is so daunting, as is being in your own skin and the whole shebang,” she said. “For no other reason other than I’m just tired of being not a bug. It’s like, what the fuck. Wouldn’t you want to be a bug if you could be anything else?”
